After a well-known astro-physicist give a popular lecture on the origin of the universe, a particularly dottering individual stood up and addressed the physicist:
"Sonny, you've got it all wrong. This here world of ours is on the shell of a huge turtle."
The physicist asked, "And how does this turtle live?"
"Oh, he's on top of another turtle."
"And what's under this turtle?"
"And what comes before the first turtle?" asked the physicist.
"Sonny, it's all turtles, all the way down."
Mrs. A: "It's disgusting how many toilet words my kids have been using."
Mrs. Z: "My kids, too! And I can't imagine where they heard these words. My husband and I never speak like that."
Mrs. A: "Where they heard them? Oh, they heard them from my kids!"
Him: "I know that you're angry at what I did."
Her: "Angry? No I am NOT."
Him: "See! YOU REALLY ARE ANGRY."
Her: "NO WAY! I AM NOT ANGRY."
New-ark, NJ (pronounced new work)
I attribute my stick-to-it-iveness to what I inherited from my ancestors. I come from a long line of long lines.
A new specialty for psychiatrists:
This doctor treats crackpots.