The Lighter Side

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By the grace of G-d
Copyright © 1997-2015 Nathaniel Segal

After a well-known astro-physicist give a popular lecture on the origin of the universe, a particularly dottering individual stood up and addressed the physicist:

"Sonny, you've got it all wrong.  This here world of ours is on the shell of a huge turtle."

The physicist asked, "And how does this turtle live?"

"Oh, he's on top of another turtle."

"And what's under this turtle?"

"Another turtle."

"And what comes before the first turtle?" asked the physicist.

"Sonny, it's all turtles, all the way down."

—  proverbial

Mrs. A: "It's disgusting how many toilet words my kids have been using."

Mrs. Z: "My kids, too!  And I can't imagine where they heard these words.  My husband and I never speak like that."

Mrs. A: "Where they heard them?  Oh, they heard them from my kids!"

—  overheard

Him: "I know that you're angry at what I did."

Her: "Angry? No I am NOT."

Him: "See! YOU REALLY ARE ANGRY."

Her: "NO WAY!  I AM NOT ANGRY."

—  Bob Rubinson, Colorado

Traveling with a toddler

New England

New Hampshire

New York

New Jersey

New-ark, NJ  (pronounced new work)

—  D.R.S.

I attribute my stick-to-it-iveness to what I inherited from my ancestors.  I come from a long line of long lines.

—  anonymous

A new specialty for psychiatrists:
Pyscho-ceramics
This doctor treats crackpots.

—  Elmer Segal (the editor's uncle)
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This page begun November 97